More Dilbert's Principles

I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow is not looking good either.

I don't have an attitude problem, you have a perception problem.

A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the butt.

Don't be irreplaceable - if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

After any salary raise, you will have less money at the end of the month than you did before.

When bosses talk about improving productivity, they are never talking about themselves.

Never delay the ending of a meeting or the beginning of a cocktail hour.

To err is human, to forgive is not our policy.

If you are good, you will be assigned all the work. If you are really good, you will get out of it.

If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would get done.

At work, the authority of a person is inversely proportional to the number of pens that person is carrying.

When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried.